Dear Eric: While in grad school, I got a call from my ex-girlfriend saying her oldest child, then five years old, was my son. We met and she showed me pictures. She was married and she didn’t ask for anything. She just wanted me to know.

DEAR TIME: You write that your friend isn’t maintaining an adult friendship, but is that really true? Your friend is reaching out to you, inviting you to do things together, including you in the new rhythms of life. That’s maintenance. You can have an adult friendship in the playroom, too.

I have suggested meeting for coffee before work or dinner after work, but my friend does not want to spend any time away from the family.

In today's Asking Eric column, R. Eric Thomas responds to someone who is having trouble maintaining an adult friendship.

How do you stay friends with someone who puts zero interest in maintaining an adult friendship? My best friend from high school (of more than 20 years) had kids a few years ago. The kids are young but out of the baby stage.